Diary of an Introvert

Dear Mr. Monster !! You came in my life unexpectedly. Gave me hopes and made me feel like I am the only girl in the world for you. Time and again we fought, sometimes you pushed me away sometimes i pushed you away. All i ever wanted was for you to never leave me and you promised too. I was falling in love with you everyday, You consumed my energies with your manipulative ways. I always asked you Am I not enough for you. You said Babe, you're the one who owns me, you know my heart I am all yours. I felt for your every word. I put you first in every thing that occurred. I ignored the red flags because I was blind sided by your love. No my Man is fighting his way through for me. He will stand his ground for me. My friends and family were stopping me not to fall for a Monster like you because you ripped my heart right through.  Countless efforts I did for you, shredded my self respect in pieces for you. Believed you with all my heart oh God was I fool for you. Toxicity an...

Be you the beautiful the tangled the messed up you. Please let me be as I am,  I am well aware of my flaws, my strengths. You do not have to scream it in my face every time I am with you. I am tired of pleasing you, tired of faking to be the nicest of them all I am not the one that has mastered the skills to perfection I still make my mistakes. I have my moments of anxiety of suffering and sometimes i want my isolation to clear my thoughts and bounce back into sanity. I do not have a flawless skin, there are bags under my eyes but I make sure to cover them to look my best for you, I love being myself with no paint covering me no fake facade blocking my faults just to show case I am the perfectionist you're looking for just so you could stop comparing me. I like to sleep in late, I do not wish for you to comment on my habits as I do not make any remarks on your's. I love wearing bold lipsticks without hearing your vicious comments on it. I love flaunting my body because i ...

I am compassionate, I am perplexed I am empathetic, I am a mess I feel Joy, I feel sadness I analyze your every perception You make me question my own stances You then label me with your very glance You say I am mother nature You say I am worthy of Praise Yet, You destroy my every emotion Yet, You abuse my godly devotion Your love is confusing Your touch is bruising You say, I am your little Angel This love of yours is a betrayal I am conscious of my every move I doubt myself, when You disapprove I want to walk right besides You Hand in Hand no questions to be asked You say I am stronger I have the freedom But still, I feel caged by You Your rants, Your spineless chants Your approvals, Your rejections Your selfish mere reflection Waiting for the day Wishing for a role reversal Just to convey I am emotional But don't take me for granted Because respect is what I always demanded My kindest deeds for You often go ignored I am a Lioness, You haven't h...

I am emotional hell lot emotional, but I try not to be sensitive and put on my mask that covers my realities why I do this I don't know. I fell in love with you for the very first time because love scared me but you came into my life unexpectedly and God knows in two months I was head over heels for you but I pushed you away because you had the ability to suppress my walls and lower my guards this amazing power you had over me made me feel weak in my eyes and I couldn't bare someone taking control over me, so I let you slide away. I am a complicated person and so were you, but you were slowly untying my knots I hate to accept this but I loved it. You made me appreciate my body, my insecurities all gone when we talk, you made me strong and discussed my fears I felt your love going through my veins when you could figure out my words in my silences. I gave you this right because I wanted to, I gave you my love because I wanted to. You were like a wish that came true but I guess wi...

Revenge Body, a whole new concept that is considered admirable and is of acceptance in our society. whenever we feel the world around is changing, people are learning that Beauty lies in our thought. We come up with something so bizarre that is appreciated by everyone. "Revenge Body". I recently came along an article that was applauding and celebrating women that lost their weight in order to show off their former men what they lost. I mean are we sane or insane promoting such toxic content. These concept only masquerades and glamorizes in fact give solid fixation how our society idealizes skinniness and feminine body that should be in proportion to 36 24 36. And deeming that women should be skinny to have a fulfilling relationship because thick women can not keep their men forever. This type of concept is a subtle way of fat shaming and promoting fatphobia where we are telling people that you cannot have a prosperous relationship if you have a bigger body. Why we need to s...

You commented on my body I let you slide away I wish I wasn't quite I wish my lips weren't sealed. For years I heard your blabbering Screaming and shouting on the top of your lungs Bullying me since we were kids, oh how I wish I could erase those days. Suicidal thoughts I had growing up, Seeing the pretty girls smirking at me Losing all my self worth  I wish I knew then, what I know now Would have told my younger self come on girl calm down It's just a phase, you're a lady with a heart of gold Never let anyone bring you down Just because you don't fit in their aesthetically pleasing world Materialistic passions that don't see the beauty that lies deep within the soul you're beautiful in every way, From the colors of your eyes to the curves of your spine Each day my dear you blossom into a beautiful woman Your imperfections make you perfect Your body shines and tells your story The scars on your face, the blemishes on your skin all have m...

I was happy as it was the first day of my school. I was happily walking down the street, when your claws grabbed me and teared me to pieces, ripped my soul apart and tortured me to the point where I prayed I should've died. I am just a kid, but your evilness does not have mercy, your lustful eyes don't seem to see through my pure innocent soul. The monster in you didn't made you think I am someone's daughter just like the one you have in your home. I am somebody's son just like the one you been praying for. Your hunger seems uncontrollable because you don't even realize the one who you've been tearing apart is your own flesh and blood. The one your strangling and pulling is the one who you calls you uncle, teacher, cousin. You have molested me through years each and every day in ways which I could not differentiate. Your touch feels like knives scrapping through my skin. But yet I am silenced by my own because they fear that my voice might make me the vict...