Memoir of a Lost Love !

I am emotional hell lot emotional, but I try not to be sensitive and put on my mask that covers my realities why I do this I don't know. I fell in love with you for the very first time because love scared me but you came into my life unexpectedly and God knows in two months I was head over heels for you but I pushed you away because you had the ability to suppress my walls and lower my guards this amazing power you had over me made me feel weak in my eyes and I couldn't bare someone taking control over me, so I let you slide away. I am a complicated person and so were you, but you were slowly untying my knots I hate to accept this but I loved it. You made me appreciate my body, my insecurities all gone when we talk, you made me strong and discussed my fears I felt your love going through my veins when you could figure out my words in my silences. I gave you this right because I wanted to, I gave you my love because I wanted to. You were like a wish that came true but I guess wishes are given for a limited time frame. We both had our ups and downs, we both tried our best to understand each other, I prioritized you to an overwhelming degree and got irritated when you didn't reciprocated. we both laughed and loved, we both manipulated our talks just to convince our innocence. I appreciated you, you appreciated me. I know I should have done you better in understanding, in trusting you. You're a complex being a mystery that was difficult for me to resolve, you had so much on your plate, I should've given you time and space. You had your excuses, I had my realities and I chose my realities over your reasons because I cannot lie anymore not to you, not to myself cause every time we fought it felt like an Eminem song "LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE". You're the man I want and I am sure of this but I doubt I am the woman you desire. It was and will always be an experience knowing and feeling your love, I am writing this memoir to always remind myself of the storm that bought both madness and serenity.