Judgments and Assumptions

Judgements, assumptions are so easy to make by just having one glance at someone we judge their whole life history, by hearing one side of the story we make conclusions and accuse the other party wrongly. Well we humans are prone to judge, It’s in our “DNA’S (disgusting, nonsense, allegations of society)”. I’ll be a complete hypocrite if I cross my heart and say I don’t judge who am I kidding I too grew up in the same hypocritical system that judges without knowing the facts, the truth, the logic, the innocence behind anyone’s story and passes their order. We harshly make up our minds about someone’s life, believes, their values. We all are the same without even realizing how insensitive or rude we sound when we fat shame, color shame our own kids, family body shaming is also a problem that no one cares for. Okay I know some of you might be thinking “family” can never say such things and be insensitive towards their kid’s feelings, how can you accuse family members like this, they are the one’s looking out for you, giving you emotional and financial support and are there for you through every thick and thin. Yes, I agree to all the statements that family is the tree that gives you shade in the harsh sun, but this is also true that sometimes our loved ones don’t realize that their words can be hurtful, and words can never be taken back.

Our closest friends don’t realize that how their dearest friend cliché best friend is suffering each day by handling, living in a relationship that does not exists in her boyfriend’s mind and yet we hold the girl responsible when she tries to cry out her feelings to her girlfriend’s we soon judge her that you’re wrong giving away too much, saying you don’t have self-respect. No one questions the boy that how dare you are playing with someone’s emotions and judging her character by statements such as she cannot stay committed because if she has a fling with me before marriage, she might have many others under her sleeves, judged by her own true immature love who himself is a coward to commit to responsibilities. We are so condemnatory that if a bride does not cry at her departure from her home towards the new beginnings of her married life, we say she does not have dignity, she is not feeling any sadness or isn’t depressed that she is leaving her parents home, judged sadly by her own family members. My question to all the people out there help me in seeking the answer: “Is it compulsory to cry at rukhsati’s” We have become pro’s at judging and creating a dilemma of false bubbles that seriously needs to be busted. If the bride dances at her own wedding then all hells loose break, you can hear whispers from every corner of the wedding hall, how the guests are judging her in words that one cannot imagine of, she is out of control, she is not good for so and so family “ka tameezdar larka”. Judged by all the 2000 people invited plus sadly by her so called “rishtedar’s”. weddings without a train of guests is not considered a traditional desi wedding because a small gathering without any of the traditional festivities is “a low middle-class marriage affair that no one will talk about and everyone still be worried about what will people think”.

Another judgmental law made by our so called ever loving societal norms, we say that dowry is unacceptable in this modern generation Z world, yet we complain if we don’t see dowry or cash modern day dowry. We start hustling and rumbling with the “Haye Haye’s” saying the family is so poor, what people they are marrying their son into, judgmental law that never seems to disappear. Firstly, when the girls had their periods, she was ready for marriage because she somehow turned into a woman a 16-year-old suddenly becomes a woman who is ready to be married and send off to an unknown family without even expressing her wishes, her opinion on the marriage. Now we can say they are giving us exemptions now they let you marry as soon as you turn 21 or 22 the ideal age for marriage of daughter’s, forget your education, your career that is starting or she is planning to start, no my friend she is ready because according to our society’s judgements.

25 years of age is the expiration date of females after that they are not eligible to marry someone while on the other hand a male can marry whenever he is ready be it in his 30’s or 40’s. And, the icing on the cake is that female bride shouldn’t be older than her future husband because they are clever and can separate the young innocent son from his parents an assumption, an ignorant judgmental statement made by our society’s geniuses. while our men can have an age difference that is incomparable.  I asked a member of my hypercritical, two faced society why is it that girls are limited to marry in their 20’s that too early twenties. They apparently told me that it is important for her to marry early because her biological clock stops ticking, well another illogical judgmental assumption that ruins young girls lives that are forced into marriages without even understanding the other person, still blossoming into maturity but departed away from their own homes to find serenity and make someone else’s house a home because often I have heard parents come up with statements like “Achay rishte bar bar nahi milte”.  The geniuses of our hypocrite society also made a judgement that cooking, and house chores are a must for a bride a must that should be mention in the resume to fulfill the position of “perfect wife material”. And my oh my if she is a working woman, is a career-oriented female, she is then totally out of question because “wives” should be domesticated. I guess that’s the reason the ratio in divorces are increasing immensely and so as domestic abuse and no one is questioning it.

We also judge people based on their belief system, their religions. Religions never judge and neither teach their followers, worshippers to judge because we are no gods’. We are mere humans made from mud clayed by the hands of God. We never use our sense and give a thought that who gave us the right to judge someone on their believes and put false allegations in the name of religious blasphemy and destroy someone’s life. Religion never teaches us to discriminate and judge other religions and consider ourselves superior. All religions in the world teach only one thing “Kindness”. Which is sad to say that we lack in today’s world.

Honestly, we are no one to judge anyone on what they look, how they dress, their education, their ethnicity, their religion, their situations, their thoughts, their values. We need to judge ourselves first, one human being can be so complicated then why would you stress your mind over analyzing other people's matters, thoughts, situations that are of no truth and are filled with illogical facts and reasoning. 

“Be kind people, be curious not judgmental” Walk Whiteman