Diary of an Introvert

So lately I have been focusing a lot on my mental health and have learned along the path its me who needs to stop obsessing over people and treat how they treat me.  Hands down I am empathetic and for a long time I wasn't able to say no to people became a people pleaser and forgot about boundary settings.  Counseling and dwelling in the world of therapy helped me define boundaries and accept people for who they are. People don't change and no matter how much you try they will never change unless they themselves wish to be a part of you as well.  In the midst of all these changing riots and being anxious for things that were never mine I was lost and my attention diverted from myself to a whole other person and some of my actions were also meant for validation as a certain satisfaction was there I need to prove myself and be available for my person so that they might not in any way find me unsuitable. But oh my god I was undeniably wrong and the understanding of being self...

  Your trust is the reason I fly so high The courage you bestowed within me will never make me cry. The hopes you had for me are fulfilling with every new dawn Dadda you’re the person without whom I wouldn't be so accomplished and become the Sana that leads on. Thank you for your love and prayers that you kept showering over the years. God bless you

 Got so caught up in unnecessary worries even forgot to take time out for myself. Found myself tangled between knots that were so simple to untie but I kept myself leashed onto them as if they were my source of oxygen.  It took years to understand the joys and the blessings that I was so blind to ignore. I thank my Lord for all His love and embracing me with everything that I could ever imagine. 

As I was getting reading to get to work. I was all charged up and the moment I stepped out of my home. I saw my car was parked in a very difficult position and as learner who just started to drive. All my energy went downhill and the only thought rushing was; Oh my god, I'll be late today and how will I reverse who should I ask or should I wait for my dad to return from work and reverse the car in order for me to drive to work.  Then suddenly I got the courage let's just sit in the car and figure it out Sana. You're an intelligent person I am sure who'll find a solution to it. And 10 minutes into it I was frustrated as I couldn't get the directions properly and was so scared that I might hit the car behind me and besides me. As I was struggling to reverse the car out of no where an unexpected help came in and guided me and to my surprise I reached office on time and was contented at last.  Always before starting my work, I offer a small thanks giving prayer to the L...

 There was a time I was heavily invested in my own nuisances still I am but over the years I stumbled upon this realization. I was so wrong about so many things.  The pain that I was running from gave me so much courage and the faith I kept within me to withstand the test of times not only proved me right but the fruit my patience bared was not only fruitful but there was a change that sparked within me.  I use to think when will there will be a time I would drive my own car and feel the air on my face. But all of a sudden I was driving, got the desired job I was always praying for. Being my best self and not thanking God enough.  Always crying and asking God for  one thing and forgetting His numerous blessings that He bestowed over the years. I became so blinded by my own selfish desires, perplexed by the insecurity of wanting to be with the one I loved so much even though pondering upon the lies that were right there still I kept asking the Lord for him to mak...