Claiming my peace one day at a time !!
A lot has went by in this past week and i never got the time to sit back and reflect on it. Now at 6:36 am in the morning Pakistani time it hits me that i am my own reason who's been a barrier towards my eternal peace. Giving my steering of life in the hands of a wrong person, and accepting i am worth this because the trauma bond is not letting us move forward and I am also somewhat responsible for his bad health as i have been triggering his emotions in the most abusive ways. After coming into this relationship i have lost a part of my personality that did not needed to please in order to be seen and i have my fair share of lies too but i have been a hypocrite in order to be superior to him and somewhere this guilt is eating me alive that every time i have to superficial and be the most pretentious person in front of him. I have to act in a certain way to show him of how much deserving i am and without this fake façade he wouldn't accept me. I am not the same a...